July 21, 2014

            My mother is the person in my life who holds the greatest power over me. Based on the five major sources of power in relationships, she has a greater amount of each power than anyone else. The first source is coercive power, “the potential to influence rooted in our ability to physically or psychologically punish our partner” (Verderber & Verderber 327). If I do something she doesn’t approve of my mother may not make dinner, which punishes me physically because I need delicious nutrition.

She might scold me by thoroughly explaining what I did wrong, thereby affecting me psychologically because I feel guilty about disappointing her. She influences me to act in ways she approves of because she knows she can punish me coercively like no one else can. One of the greatest powers my mother holds over me is reward power, “the potential to influence rooted in our ability to provide something our partner values and cannot easily get from someone else” (Verderber & Verderber 327). I’m truly fortunate to have parents that want to pay for my education and I know better than to take that for granted. I always try to give back to my parents in any way I can, which includes doing well in school. As long as I get good grades they told me that they will reward me by paying for my undergraduate studies. My mother influences me to keep my grades up because if I don’t the reward of having my education paid for will be ripped away. The third type of power she possesses is legitimate power, “the potential to influence others rooted in the authority granted to a person who occupies a certain role” (Verderber & Verderber 327). Although they are not written, I know that there are certain rules I must follow while I’m living under my mother’s roof. When she needs me to watch my sister I have to watch my sister, when the lawn needs to be cut I have to mow the lawn, when my room is messy I need to clean it, and the list goes on. I must abide by her rules because if I don’t life at home, if I still had one, would not be enjoyable. Her authority influences how I act in her house and I have to accept her power as long as I want to live under her roof (Verderber & Verderber 327). My mother is very influential because of her expert power, “the ability to influence rooted in someone’s subject-specific knowledge and competence” (Verderber & Verderber 328). Since she has a great deal of knowledge about computers my mother has the ability to influence my decisions involving them.

 

She has also experienced twenty more years of life than I have, so I go to her for knowledge about life every day. Lastly, my mother possesses referent power, “the potential to influence rooted in liking, respect, or admiration” (Verderber & Verderber 328). My mother doesn’t need to say anything to influence me with this type of power. I love my mother with all of my heart, respect her more than anyone on this planet, and admire her for the strong woman she is; I view her as a beautiful rose that grew from concrete. I will always love and look up to my mother so she will always have referent power over me.

Works Cited

Verderber, Kathleen S. & Rudolph F. Verderber. Inter-Act: Interpersonal Communication        Concepts, Skills, and Contexts. New York: Oxford University Press, 2013. Print.