June 26, 2014

          I believe that nonverbal communication presents an image of yourself to the people around you. By definition, nonverbal communication is “all human communication events that transcend spoken or written words” (Verderber & Verderber 131). Moreover, it describes how actions, along with other things, can support or contradict the meaning of verbal messages (Verderber & Verderber 131). Almost everyone I interact with has told me that I have a stoic and neutral appearance, which is something I don’t plan on changing. Nobody can ever determine if I’m having a good or bad day, which is a positive thing in interpersonal communication. Never letting emotions influence my messages prevents people from becoming confused with the meaning I put behind them. My wardrobe is simple considering that I have a lot of t-shirts, hooded sweatshirts, sweatpants, and jeans. I don’t wear flashy attire because I have a laid back personality; I couldn’t pull off wearing a pink pimp suit if I tried. In a casual setting I fit in with everybody else, so my clothing doesn’t have a drastic effect on how I communicate. However, if I dressed casually to a job interview I would not be taken seriously. The messages sent to my potential employers would be interpreted as a joke because I wouldn’t be dressed appropriately. In order to avoid such an embarrassing situation I dress professionally (i.e. dress pants, polo shirts, etc.) when I’m at a job interview so my nonverbal messages will support and agree with my verbal messages (Verderber & Verderber 131). Another key aspect of nonverbal communication is how well someone grooms themselves, which is something I pay close attention to. I make sure that I look neat and clean because I want people to listen to my words instead of studying how sloppy or messy I look. It is also important to me that I smell nice because I wouldn’t want to talk to someone who stinks; sometimes I miss what people tell me because I’m too busy shielding my nostrils from their foul scent. Proper grooming often leads to me gaining respect from my conversational partner, so I will remain diligent in staying well groomed.

            As far as my verbal behavior is concerned, I definitely feel that I express myself clearly when speaking. Whenever I’m in a conversation I work hard to make sure that my messages are not only expressed clearly, but understood by the receiver in the way I intended. In addition, I constantly remind myself to remove the vocal fillers (i.e. “ums” and “uhs”) from my vocabulary so I can continue to improve my communication skills. The aspect of my image that I need to work on the most is my social skills. I use a lot of gestures, “using hand, arm, and finger movement to replace, complement, and augment a verbal message,” to clarify my messages (Verderber & Verderber 137). Sometimes this is problematic because people become distracted by my gestures and miss my message entirely, so I need to find the appropriate amount of how much gesturing I should I do in a conversation. I also need to pay careful attention to my facial expressions, “arranging facial muscles to communicate emotion or provide feedback,” because people have told me that I give looks that confuse them (Verderber & Verderber 137).

It is important that my facial expressions don’t contradict my verbal messages so people can understand the true meaning of my words. I am happy to say that as my communication skills have improved my ability to sustain eye contact has as well. Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of communication because it informs your conversational partner that you are reacting appropriately, paying attention, and respecting them (Verderber & Verderber 136). Lastly, I feel that I have a friendly demeanor when I interact with other people. I enjoy making people laugh and smile, which makes them more comfortable when they speak with me. As a result they talk more, accept and understand the things I say, and thoroughly enjoy the conversation. The problem for me is that I need to display this side of me more often because I only reveal my friendly attitude in small groups. I previously explained that I have a very neutral appearance, so publicly expressing my friendliness would make people more willing to approach me and converse.

Works Cited

Verderber, Kathleen S. & Rudolph F. Verderber. Inter-Act: Interpersonal Communication             Concepts, Skills, and Contexts. New York: Oxford University Press, 2013. Print.